I am good at _______ in my professional life, and I struggle with ________ at home.
Does this sound familiar?
- I am good at holding space for my client’s emotions in my professional life, and I struggle to be present with my kids at home.
- I am good at holding boundaries in my professional life, and I struggle with having any personal boundaries for my needs at home.
- I am good at being non-reactive, patient, and caring in my professional life, and I struggle with empathy at home.
- I am fun and playful in my professional life, and I struggle to have the energy to play with my kids at home.
If any of these resonate with you, you’re not alone. I feel them too.
The Double Identity of a Helping Professional Mom
As a mom in a helping profession, I have a strong identity as both a dedicated professional and a caring parent. If you also work in a field where you support others—whether as a therapist, doctor, counselor, coach, teacher, or healer—you understand the overlap between how you show up at work and how you want to show up at home.
We often place high expectations on ourselves to apply the same skills we use at work to our parenting. We believe we “should” be patient, empathetic, playful, and emotionally available 24/7. But the truth is, the stretch between these two roles is immense. The emotional and energetic demands of our professional roles (which we love) combined with the pressure to be the “perfect” parent can lead to burnout.
When You Know What to Do—But Still Need Help
Logically, I know all the tools to support myself. But in reality? I need help, too.
I need help lowering my own expectations, setting personal boundaries, and shifting my focus to where I truly shine. Instead of feeling guilty for not being the “perfect” mom, I want to create space for both my professional growth and my ability to be a present, joyful parent.
And if you’re reading this, I imagine you do, too.
A New Approach to Work-Life Balance for Helping Moms
As a mental health occupational therapist and coach, I’ve spent years exploring the intersection of working in a helping profession and being a mother. Through my own journey and the stories of countless other moms, I know that the struggle is real—but balance is possible.
Here are some ways that we can embrace our humanity – through these three key mindset shifts:
1. Accepting Imperfection
The first step is accepting that just because we can show up at work with energy, compassion, and patience, doesn’t mean we can sustain that same level at home all the time. We will have ups and downs. We will get grumpy and lose our patience. We will struggle to feel compassion for the people we love sometimes. And that’s okay.
Instead of striving for an impossible standard of perfection, we need to acknowledge that we are human. The key is not eliminating the ups and downs but creating balance in our lives—allowing space to meet our needs so that the emotional swings become less extreme. Life’s natural rhythms are unavoidable, but we can navigate them with greater ease when we give ourselves grace.
2. Viewing Our Humanity as a Strength
Our struggles do not make us weaker—they make us better. We are not machines; we are human. And it’s this humanity that allows us to connect with our clients on a deep, meaningful level. Because we experience difficulties in our own lives, we can empathize more genuinely.
Rather than seeing our struggles as failures, we can reframe them as valuable insights. When we understand firsthand how challenging it can be to implement self-care and boundaries, we become more mindful and compassionate in the recommendations we make for others. Our lived experiences enhance our professional wisdom.
3. Giving Ourselves Permission to Ask for Help
Just because we help others doesn’t mean we have to have it all together ourselves. We are not immune to stress, overwhelm, or exhaustion. The same way we encourage our clients to seek support, we need to remind ourselves that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
We are not meant to do this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance, a supportive community, or simple self-compassion, we deserve the same care and consideration we so freely offer others.
Let’s Talk: What’s Your Biggest Challenge?
Which of the struggles above resonated with you the most? Let’s start the conversation in the comments!